Never heard of positive sparkle stealers? Well that is because I just made it up while writing this blog (you’ll see my eureka moment). This blog post is a hot topic for me, positivity and kindness. Many of us experience unpleasantries which has just become the norm these days. But… you are the answer to the change. Honestly, you are the key to more positivity in your day!
There is no reason for you to be unkind to anyone or for someone to be unkind to you. Yet almost every single day we will experience some type of negative interaction. 2018 was my year to make a change and I can honestly say I have. Not that I realised until my late 20s but I really was a positive sparkle stealer *gasps*. Now 2019 begins as a healthier, happier and calmer person thanks to this technique which I am about to share with you. It changed my life as well as positively impacting the people I live/worked with so I was no longer miserable SJ.
The Simple Solution – Be Positive
The simple answer is venting. Venting our feelings does us the world of good, this doesn’t even need to be said out loud, acknowledgment is all it takes to let go and bring positive vibes back into your day. Therefore when someone is unkind it really doesn’t matter what the person has said or done to upset you. No matter how bad it was, it’s your problem it upset you not there’s. This may be a little hard to get your head around but be patient, once you get it you’ll never lose it!
Start your Day the Positive Way
Let’s start at the beginning of your day, you wake up and you have this great big positive sparkle omitting from you (not literally of course but work with me here). This sparkle is your fresh, positive, happy personality shining through ready to start your day. You have a nice breakfast, get ready and hit the road ready for a day out with ‘the public’. Other humans, ekkk well here goes…
What’s your Personality?
The wonderful world we live in comes with a wide variety of personalities some people are funny, intelligent, bold, chatty, loud, quiet, reserved, arrogant, positive, negative etc. Have a think, what personality are you? Not sure? Try this FREE test. We have a right to be ourselves and it is vital that we are! We are all here for a reason and our personality gets us to where we are meant to be.
For example I’m short tempered, it’s part of who I am. Being short tempered and unkind are two very different things though. I have my friends in fits of laughter when I over react to dropping a pen or losing my phone and then I realise I am holding it, true story! So own who you are ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and work with it, be kind in your own way.
How to deal with Strangers who aren’t Positive
On the flip side, when we meet a stranger does this give us the right to be unkind as we don’t know or respect them? Certainly not! Think of it this way, every woman is someone’s mum, sister, best friend, aunty, nan etc every man is someone’s brother, grandad, husband, son etc. How would you feel if someone was rude to your nan, grandad, brother, sister, mum etc. Your blood would boil!
Remember this when you feel you could be rude to someone, the person you are about to insult or patronise is important to someone and they deserve to be respected, we all do. We have no idea what goes on in peoples lives and a little kindness and positivity could really make someone’s day. It certainly has for me.
Unavoidable Toxic People
Toxic people are contagious, stay away! I don’t mean to suggest leave your job or break away from certain friends but in some ways, this is exactly what I am saying. If you have a job that is toxic from top to bottom, get out, go go go that is not what you need or a friend that always put you down or makes you feel on edge, break away. But sometimes you can’t avoid them, if you have a job you love but your boss or co-worker is just ggrrr or your family member is the problem then this is a great example of how the venting technique will help you.
Just Ignore Them
Ignoring someone’s nasty comments is easier said than done and has never worked for me! Try looking at it this way instead; put yourself in their shoes. If you have ever been unkind to someone there is usually a reason. Equally if someone has been unkind to you there is a big chance something is wrong for them as well. You don’t need to be there for them, you may not even know them but just cut them a bit of slack. Bring your positivity sparkle to the table.
Feeling sorry for people, although frowned upon, does help. We have no idea why people may be in a bad place and if we did know maybe we would be kinder. Treat everyone that way, if they are unkind assume something has gone wrong at some point, feel sorry for them and cut them some slack. Get creative with your reasons as well you don’t tell anyone just whatever works to make you look at them in a different light. I do this daily, even with the people I live with (they have no idea)! I’ll explain this more in a moment.
Keep an eye out for Kindness and Positivity, it’s everywhere!
I see kindness everyday as well let’s not forget the nice people! I am very lucky to so easy see kindness but… that’s because I look out for it and you need to do this too. When you walk look-up, look people in the eye and smile, why not? It’s not creepy (well maybe, practise your friendly smile just in case!). Make friendly chit chat at the bus stop, in a queue, in a waiting area, why not? You can usually judge if someone is chatty and if they are great, if not a smile will do.
What you say to someone in those few moments will change someone’s day you decided if it will be for the better or not. Choose to make their day not break their spirit.
‘Negative Nancy’ and ‘Sparkle Stealers’
Negative people look for the opportunity to scrutinize others, every single part of their day they turn negative moan moan moan. I call these people ‘Negative Nancy’. Unfortunately, we all know these people because there are so many of them not to mention the positive sparkle stealers! Never said that before in my life but I like it! These types of people hunt for the weak and wait for anything they can use as gossip, which usually is either a total lie or a huge exaggeration.
We need to feel sorry for these ‘Positive Sparkle Stealers’ and we must ignore them, I know I know easier said than done but these bullies have a much bigger issue going on somewhere in their life and it’s a shame putting someone else down makes them feel a little bit better for a moment, such a shame but poor them. Thank god we are kind and positive people and don’t need to behave like that!
Eventually, if these types of behaviours don’t improve, they can become violent people and that’s very very scary. We all need to make this change and encourage others to also be kind. If you find yourself in a low state of mind because of someone trying to steal your positive sparkle, all you need to do is vent if you keep bottling this up it could lead to depression over time which is much less manageable.
Where to Start with Venting and Inviting Positivity into your day
Venting is the answer. Picture this, you’ve had a great positive morning and you get into work say ‘good morning’ and your co-worker doesn’t even look at you and grumbles ‘morning’.
This is your chance to use that positive sparkle of yours. Even though this tiny moment in the day may have upset you, we all have low days and there may be a reason for their low mood. When you have a peaceful moment, think about it then, break it down like this;
- That situation upset me because… (they were unnecessarily grumpy)
- Although, that person might have… (had an argument with their partner before work)
- I hope they will be ok!
- Thank god I have/had… (my best friend at work with me today)
See where I am going with this?
Find the Positivity in your Day
This leads us on to think about the positive parts of our day. Did anyone;
- Text you to see how you are?
- Hold a door open for you?
- Say good morning or good evening?
- Smile your way?
- None of these?
Keep thinking, there is positive in EVERY day.
Now think about what positive things you did or can do today;
- Wish someone happy birthday?
- Compliment someone’s scarf, coat, make-up etc,
- Ask someone if they had a nice holiday?
- Let someone go before you in a queue?
- LOADS of things, right?
The Bucket Theory
If you’re already so tense a small problem is huge, my friend said a good analogy which may help you too.
Imagine you are balancing a bucket on your head and every time something goes wrong a drip falls in the bucket. Every day this bucket is getting heavier and heavier and harder and harder to balance. Before long, one bad thing too many happens and the whole bucket is sent crashing to the floor drenching you in your unhappiness. Leaving you either hysterically crying or smashing everything up around you!
We’ve all been there! When you vent after your day, imagine your draining that bucket so a new day means a new empty bucket, great way to look at it I think. I finally understood the importance of venting when I heard this.
Keep doing this every day, it gets easier and will be a habit before long!
Manage your Positive and Negative Emotions
Let’s not pretend we live in a positive bubble, because every day does come with some downs maybe minor maybe awful but what this daily technique teaches you is to become strong. You’ll find on your bad days you can cope with some bad news, someone being rude, getting splashed in a puddle etc. Manage your emotions and reactions as that is the part you have control over and it will keep you calm, positive and happy in the long run.
You may be thinking this sounds a little bit like meditation and you would be completely right, it’s a form of meditation but no where near as in-depth. If this works for you consider learning more about meditation as you may find it’s just what you need, read my beginners guide to meditation to know how to get started.
How is your positive sparkle at the end of the day? But remember your positive sparkle gets bigger and bigger and it’s contagious. The more positive sparkles we have in the world the better, spread some sparkle and help make someone’s day, making the world a friendlier place. Optimistic goal I know! We can do this!
Remember don’t let anyone steal your sparkle…